The Gift of Catastrophe
by Mary Hayes Grieco
A bridge in America shouldn’t fall down! Bridges in America
just shouldn’t fall down! These were the earnest and impassioned
words of my Minnesota senator, Amy Klobuchar, who I’ve always
appreciated for her good heart and terrier-like feisty attitude.
She stood shoulder to shoulder on television with our mayor and
our governor, and other leaders to assure the devastated Twin Cities
community that indeed everything possible is being done to ameliorate
the trauma of our collapsed bridge disaster and to make sure that
nothing like it ever happens again. I appreciated the sentiment,
but because my own belief that “Sh__ happens” is one
of the operative laws of life, I just shook my head wryly at Amy.
I actually don’t expect her or any one to “fix” things
beyond utter possibility of human error or the forces of blind,
amoral Nature. Even when we do our very best and make no mistakes
we can’t control the outcome of everything. I’m 52
and I’ve learned that much so far.
It took about two full weeks, but eventually I was ready to stop
watching the television news shows again, and turn my face and
my attitude once again towards normal – towards moving on
beyond A Big Upset. After 9/11 I refused to live in fear of terrorist
attacks, and I can promise you I am not going to live in fear of
falling bridges either. Even though I am fairly convinced that
I can’t prevent personal or collective Big Upsets from happening
from time to time, I am confident that I know how to recover from
them. I am in the fortunate position this time of not being personally
involved with any of the deceased, so this is the streamlined healing
program that worked for me: time: Take time to be upset. Call everyone
you know and huddle up about each other’s safety. Watch and
tell the stories for a while. Breathe. Feel your heart. Cry sometimes.
Have weird dreams. Watch funny movies. See the good. Enjoy high
civic self-esteem. Do a little something to make a contribution.
Face it again: we do not know the hour of our death. Decide to
be brave and peaceful and alive now anyway....
My conviction that healing happens, and that the healing journey
is completed by an effective act of forgiveness, has led to my
feeling somewhat safer in this wild and unpredictable world. There’s
less to fear in life if you’ve experienced a few rounds of
loss and catastrophe and successfully healed from it. As I shared
with you in my last newsletter, I’m here to strongly suggest — how
about if we all commit to living with the attitude of Joy Anyway!
?
I hope you will appreciate the essay below about The Gift of Catastrophe
that I wrote a while back, and that I’ll see some of you
at one of our workshops in the coming year. Check out our schedule
of upcoming learning and healing opportunities from The Midwest
Institute for Forgiveness Training, and enjoy the radiant and peaceful
summertime, while it’s still here.
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