The Best Reason to Forgive: Joy! Why not?
by Mary Hayes Grieco

Birds chirp, squirrels chase each other, otters swim and dive, dogs wag their tails, cats purr, monkeys joke, wolves cuddle, eagles soar the heights, and babies laugh about their toes. Why? Because joy is a bright force of creation that throbs through all of it’s creatures in any way it can. Joy is God’s song, and joy sings the flowers awake in springtime, calling out with conviction that there is no ultimate death, no winter that lasts. Joy is the Earth turning her face towards the sun once again, and the frozen hard ground yielding and softening, like our hearts when they are given hope that they might heal and be happy after all. Joy coaxes the sap to rise, and the trees to extend their branches into space, and the blossoms to slowly burst forth —unbelievably!— with color and fragrance to share their particular song with whoever will come by. We are surrounded by a chorus of expression of the sublime and the beautiful, and we long to sing well also, in that grand chorus. We want to live in the stream of Life’s joy.

Joy... why not? Is there any good reason to cling to guilt, shame, pain, and suffering --- withholding our natural inclination towards joy? It is high time we rid ourselves of the grim vestiges of soberness and rigidity left over from the prior eras that were characterized by struggle or a religious paradigm driven by shame and fear. I will never forget how starkly this was painted for me by a church lady who I met after I gave a presentation on forgiveness to the congregation. There I was, still vibrating with enthusiasm, as I do when I talk to groups about forgiveness, and an old Lutheran lady (I’ll call her Velma) approached me to scold me back into a reasonable amount of uptightness. She was about eighty, thin and upright in her navy blue suit and pillbox hat. Her gloved hands clasped her tidy pocketbook tightly against her midsection as she leaned stiffly forward and fixed me with a merciless hawk-like stare. She spoke in a clipped Scandinavian accent.

Velma: "Vell, dat vas all right, I suppose. But you must be careful young lady. What you are saying here is dat ve can be... happy!" She spat the word out like it was something offensive.

Mary: "Uh, yes I suppose that is what I am saying."

Velma: (scowling) "Vell, you must be very very careful about dis. I have seen people who do dese tings at the workshops, and after a while dey start to get all glow-y and flow-y."(She closes her eyes and shudders.)

Mary: (reflecting on the behavior of most of her friends) "Uh, yes.... you’re right... they do...."

Velma: (disgusted) "And den dey start hugging you and laughing a lot and talking about how everything is so wonderful and good and it’s all happening for a reason — "

Mary (nodding) "Yes, yes, that’s how it goes."

Velma: "I’ve seen dese people. It’s obnoxious!" She gives me one more warning scowl and marches off.

Well, I guess joy isn’t for everyone. But if you think you're up for some more joy in your life, and you don't mind if you and your life become somewhat more "glow-y and flow-y," then I look forward to meeting you at one of our healing events this spring.

Forgiveness: Do it for you.